Stacey: When did you start as a wedding photographer?
David: As soon as someone saw that I had a camera, they asked me to shoot a wedding. I became more serious about it when I was in Chicago when I was a freelance assistant. I’d been in the Navy as a photographer; I had done a wedding or two when I was in, but I didn’t take it seriously. I hated weddings at first because of the post-production. The way my brain works… it cannot function when faced with a large, boring task. And editing is a long boring task. I never looked for weddings, but if they came my way, I’d take the film and hand it over. I didn’t want to deal with it after that day. I found the idea of shooting a wedding… I liked it. I like people.
So I started doing them in the Navy. And I liked the pictures that came back. They weren’t great, but I liked them. But the post-production would just cloud my eyes. So sometimes I would tell people, “No, I don’t shoot weddings.” And sometimes I’d say, “Yeah, I do.” Cause I liked the money!
S: Hahaha. When did you start really focusing on weddings?
I had been in commercial photography as an assistant in Chicago for 12 years. I did a lot of world travel, met some really good guys, and I met some jerks. But I would just charge them more money!
So I did that, and then I started to shift into doing my own commercial photography. Something happened; I just couldn’t get it going. I couldn’t figure out what it took to get a business going so that I could be an artist and raise a family. I couldn’t wrap my head around it. It’s just the way my brain works; I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 30. It’s a pretty severe thing.
S: That’s why you couldn’t do the editing? You couldn’t focus that long?
D: Exactly. Because the way my mind works. Because I have this ability to access information differently, it’s easy for me to go into the emotional crucible of a wedding. My mind works at a high rate of speed. You guys saw me at a wedding. It looked easy didn’t it?
S: Yes, it did!
Back to the Chicago thing, like I said. This is how I am. No matter how many prescriptions I take, this is not going to go away. So I didn’t take the weddings seriously, but then I failed at commercial photography. Right about the time I realized that commercial photography wasn’t going to work out for me. By the way, a completely humiliating feeling. It really crushed me. Right about then, my wife decided she wanted to be a civil engineer and I said, “Fine, I need a break.” So I called it and just decided to be a full time Dad. So we did that. Two years, we were ok with that. But then something happened. I just missed, deeply, the challenge of professional level photography. The two-year space gave me time to think, “What is it that I loathe about wedding photography?”
Here’s the truth: Failure is important to success.
S: Oh yes, definitely.
D: You must understand that phrase at its most truthful level. You have to go through this arc to understand what you’re good at and what you’re not good at. Only under pressure and the bitter taste of defeat under your tongue, can you really figure out what that is. This is hard to do. You have to go through this.
S: J. K. Rowling actually gave a commencement speech on that very idea: failure and its importance to success.
D: Oh yes. I read that! You realize this when you push through the failure. The pain of pushing through that, it’s not all that difficult. Failure can be life changing, just like for J. K. Rowling.
The gift that I have, I am unable to be normal. It’s a bitter, crushing thing. I can’t be a scientist or an economist. I can’t do that and it’s humiliating. That’s what helped me figure all this out. You have to go through that. My whole life only exists because of my failure.
I was failing so much-- I needed a break. I lost 16 jobs from the time I graduated high school until I got in the Navy 4 years later. How much failure did I experience? But that’s what it was. This is what I’m good at. I know how to make the camera stand up and sing and I know how to make a group of people stand out.
S: You’re able to be a big part of such an important day for people. How do you actually go about inserting yourself in that day? Especially with some women…
D: That may seem like a simple question, but is no means simplistic. It’s about emotional interaction. I have some psychology background, so I know how to get a feel for people.
Joey: Yes, I love it! The things you say—it’s you. Your personality comes through.
D: A lot of artists out there are very good with the camera, but they’re jerks! There’s an emptiness in the relationships and the photos with them. You stay the hell away from me. It hurts too much and I don’t have the time anymore.
So it has to be crystal clear when you are hiring me, that you are hiring a mad man who wants, needs, your marriage to succeed! Maybe the picture I take of you and your husband-- it reminds you of what you love about him during the tough times. That’s what I hope.
These are the people I want to work with. I shot a wedding in Key Largo; they flew me out there. The budget for their wedding was $6,000. I was $4,000 of that budget!
J: I saw those photos on Facebook. They’re gorgeous!
D: Did you take a close look at the flowers?
J: Nooo?
D: The reason why I ask is I want to show you the type of client that resonates with me. The type of people I want to meet and make me want to be awesome in their eyes. That woman couldn’t have cared less if they didn’t have the flowers. She just wanted to be married to that man. She loved Matt! They got married in bare feet on the beach.
The story that goes with the flowers. The bride says, “Time to get the flowers.” So I am thinking we’re heading to the florist. We get there and it was closed! She goes, “Oh, bummer!” And I said, “You didn’t order?” And she shrugged! She said, “I was just gonna pick out a few, make it myself, and call it good.” I loved her! We go to their local supermarket, to the flower section. She pulled out the orange flowers and we were good to go.
If you are normal, I am not your guy! When I am at your wedding, I am a crazy person! I really want your marriage to work. That’s why these people hire me. Because if you and I get along, your friends are going to get along with me. Once I get that emotional tipping point, that fills out to everyone else.
All those jokes I crack, all those faces I make. If you’re laughing at me… you’re laughing! As much as they are selecting me, I am selecting them. If you have a bad attitude, I am not going to get great images.
J: What do you do if you do get that wedding with an unhappy person or someone who isn’t cooperating?
D: You must prepare your battlefield! That’s a thing I learned in the military: preparation. It’s the same in photography. You must be sure that they get you. The only people I have problems with are friends and family where I cut my rates for, when I compromise. That’s usually when I get a bridezilla on my hands.
S: Is that your worst nightmare, a bridezilla?
D: It is! I am here to have a good time. I want to have a good work experience. It messes with the photos, and then the 200 guests are talking bad about me. I charge what I charge for a good reason. If you want awesome, you have to pay for it! If you want to rock, you play!
Did you see me on that wedding day? My hair was on fire! I was on fire! That’s what passion does to you. You have to prepare. You don’t want a bridezilla. You have to prepare. You want them to choose you, but you want to be yourself. If I am myself, I drive the bridezillas away!
S: How do you deal with someone who is a bridezilla?
D: The time I call into my psychology skills is during those bridezilla moments. I was in Vegas shooting a wedding and this poor woman, she was in a beautiful dress and she was wigging out over the dress. People were stepping on it… she was upset. The room cleared and it was just her and me. I go to her and I had to be ninja with her. I had to be harsh, but not too harsh. I had to cut, but not too deeply. I had to tell her about what was going on. For her, an emotional shock was best. I came up to her and I invaded her personal space. That’s shock number 1. Shock number 2: I looked her in the eyes. That rarely happens. I go, “What’s going to matter in a few years? No one cares about the flowers or the dress! All that matters is you are going to marry Dave!” I shocked her. And she got it, her attitude changed immediately. That was a high risk for me.
S: She could have flipped out!
D: She could have! It takes practice to be good in moments like that. I had to do it in the military. I had to learn how to work with different types of people from wildly different backgrounds. Sometimes I will use humor. If a bride is self-conscious in front of the mirror, I will look at her and say, “Don’t worry; I got this!”
There’s a reason I charge what I do. I know what I am doing!
J: How do you deal with friends and family who want you to cut your rates?
D: What it comes down to is respect. If you respect my photos and my art, you won’t even think about asking me to cut my rates. A friend of mine couldn’t afford my rates and just said, “David, here’s what I have. Can you just shoot for an hour?” He was insistent, only an hour. Because he was my friend and because he respected me, I ended up shooting more than that.
J: So it’s about give and take?
D: Yeah. A friend of mine booked me for the Key Largo wedding and didn’t even bother asking me to lower my price. But because they did that, it filled me up. And I gave them more of my time.
J: What do you do if you do get that wedding with an unhappy person or someone who isn’t cooperating?
D: You must prepare your battlefield! That’s a thing I learned in the military: preparation. It’s the same in photography. You must be sure that they get you. The only people I have problems with are friends and family where I cut my rates for, when I compromise. That’s usually when I get a bridezilla on my hands.
S: Is that your worst nightmare, a bridezilla?
D: It is! I am here to have a good time. I want to have a good work experience. It messes with the photos, and then the 200 guests are talking bad about me. I charge what I charge for a good reason. If you want awesome, you have to pay for it! If you want to rock, you play!
Did you see me on that wedding day? My hair was on fire! I was on fire! That’s what passion does to you. You have to prepare. You don’t want a bridezilla. You have to prepare. You want them to choose you, but you want to be yourself. If I am myself, I drive the bridezillas away!
D: The time I call into my psychology skills is during those bridezilla moments. I was in Vegas shooting a wedding and this poor woman, she was in a beautiful dress and she was wigging out over the dress. People were stepping on it… she was upset. The room cleared and it was just her and me. I go to her and I had to be ninja with her. I had to be harsh, but not too harsh. I had to cut, but not too deeply. I had to tell her about what was going on. For her, an emotional shock was best. I came up to her and I invaded her personal space. That’s shock number 1. Shock number 2: I looked her in the eyes. That rarely happens. I go, “What’s going to matter in a few years? No one cares about the flowers or the dress! All that matters is you are going to marry Dave!” I shocked her. And she got it, her attitude changed immediately. That was a high risk for me.
S: She could have flipped out!
D: She could have! It takes practice to be good in moments like that. I had to do it in the military. I had to learn how to work with different types of people from wildly different backgrounds. Sometimes I will use humor. If a bride is self-conscious in front of the mirror, I will look at her and say, “Don’t worry; I got this!”
There’s a reason I charge what I do. I know what I am doing!
J: How do you deal with friends and family who want you to cut your rates?
D: What it comes down to is respect. If you respect my photos and my art, you won’t even think about asking me to cut my rates. A friend of mine couldn’t afford my rates and just said, “David, here’s what I have. Can you just shoot for an hour?” He was insistent, only an hour. Because he was my friend and because he respected me, I ended up shooting more than that.
J: So it’s about give and take?
D: Yeah. A friend of mine booked me for the Key Largo wedding and didn’t even bother asking me to lower my price. But because they did that, it filled me up. And I gave them more of my time.
You have to be hardcore about this business. There’s good reason why you charge what you charge. At the end of the day, you don’t want that bitterness. You don’t want to say, “I just compromised and I didn’t feel good about it.” That’s my income. It’s messy, but I have to be hardcore about it.
S: Speaking of that, with everyone having a digital camera now, does that affect you at all?
D: No. The deal is, many are called, but few are chosen. You must live by that if you are going to succeed in this business. Anybody can buy a camera, but how many can actually be an artist? To make the camera stand up and sing? It’s not about the camera; it’s about the eyeball. I can make the camera stand up and sing, but only because of 20 years of experience and failure. But again, it’s worth it.
For instance, that wedding you two went to. I remember going to the wedding, I remember talking. I don’t remember taking the photos. Something happens and I just go.
J: Get in the zone, almost?
S: Like it’s almost out of body? The creative just takes over?
D: Yeah, it’s common, not just in photography and the arts. It’s common in sports. I was reading an interview with a professional basketball athlete. He said, “All I see is the court. Everything is in slow motion.” And that’s how I feel. I engage and I interrupt my body and mind, but I am doing it. But if the photo comes out, it’s all worth it. No one cares what I do, they care about the photos.
S: What’s the best part of a wedding for you?
D: The whole day.
S: The whole day? Really?
D: It’s one big, freaking rush! I am really happy for these people! I try not to bring in my life because that allows me to be sincere in the moment. I let “the monkey” take over. I love shooting it all, the wedding, the reception. To be honest, my last favorite moment is when I ship everything to my editor!
S: What’s the worst part?
D: It deals with my ego. I need to know they love my pictures! But again, that deals with the self-selection.
S: What is your favorite type of photo to take?
D: That’s a…. that’s… (Silence for a minute or two.)
J: I think you broke him!
S: I did!
D: Yeah! You did…. I am a professional artist, and I specialize in weddings and families. I want to make something awesome. My favorite pictures are what I am doing right now. My favorite pictures are of who you are at your most authentic. That is hard to do! I can do that! And I am proud of it. And I am grateful for it.
But I don’t want you in a white shirt on the beach. Bring on the shark hat and the superman costume! That’s what I love.
S: What’s your favorite moment of the wedding?
D: My favorite moment is when I can get a shot of the couple… when they look like they are completely in love with each other. In the end, maybe that can save their marriage. They can see the evidence. They are hard to catch! I can’t save a marriage, but I can try!
S: On that note, since you have been to so many weddings, is there something you see in the couples that last versus the ones that don’t? What do you think the secret is?
D: It’s hard work. You need to be an a**hole when you need to be. You need to know the “slow drift of death” is coming. One time, I was meeting with a couple and they asked me what it takes to stay married. They really wanted to know. This is a risk situation for me… I know what I am talking about. They could take their business and leave. The interview ended up going a total of four hours. It was uncomfortable, but, in the end, I am not here to be liked… I am here to love. I told him, “You have to stand up and be a man. You don’t want to be a boy the rest of your life. Sometimes, you have to be a bada**. Love will always cost you something. Always! The only easy day was yesterday.” But they booked me for their whole wedding day because I was honest with them.
S: Finally, do you have any advice for aspiring photographers?
D: Yeah, I do. The skill of learning how to take a picture is not difficult. The skill of becoming good at it is the hard part. You cannot learn on the wedding day; you must prepare, you must train. The first 10,000 photos you take are going to suck! Also, get involved with stress management. Learn how to manage that. Understand your equipment at its fundamental level. See how far you can get on how little gear you have. Then wait, wait, wait and practice. And take risks! This business is a risk.
S: Thank you so much David! You were a great first Odd Jobber.
D: No problem! Anytime.
If you’d like to check out David’s photography and book him for your wedding or family photoshoot, check out his site.
S: Speaking of that, with everyone having a digital camera now, does that affect you at all?
D: No. The deal is, many are called, but few are chosen. You must live by that if you are going to succeed in this business. Anybody can buy a camera, but how many can actually be an artist? To make the camera stand up and sing? It’s not about the camera; it’s about the eyeball. I can make the camera stand up and sing, but only because of 20 years of experience and failure. But again, it’s worth it.
For instance, that wedding you two went to. I remember going to the wedding, I remember talking. I don’t remember taking the photos. Something happens and I just go.
J: Get in the zone, almost?
S: Like it’s almost out of body? The creative just takes over?
D: Yeah, it’s common, not just in photography and the arts. It’s common in sports. I was reading an interview with a professional basketball athlete. He said, “All I see is the court. Everything is in slow motion.” And that’s how I feel. I engage and I interrupt my body and mind, but I am doing it. But if the photo comes out, it’s all worth it. No one cares what I do, they care about the photos.
S: What’s the best part of a wedding for you?
D: The whole day.
S: The whole day? Really?
D: It’s one big, freaking rush! I am really happy for these people! I try not to bring in my life because that allows me to be sincere in the moment. I let “the monkey” take over. I love shooting it all, the wedding, the reception. To be honest, my last favorite moment is when I ship everything to my editor!
S: What’s the worst part?
D: It deals with my ego. I need to know they love my pictures! But again, that deals with the self-selection.
S: What is your favorite type of photo to take?
J: I think you broke him!
S: I did!
D: Yeah! You did…. I am a professional artist, and I specialize in weddings and families. I want to make something awesome. My favorite pictures are what I am doing right now. My favorite pictures are of who you are at your most authentic. That is hard to do! I can do that! And I am proud of it. And I am grateful for it.
But I don’t want you in a white shirt on the beach. Bring on the shark hat and the superman costume! That’s what I love.
S: What’s your favorite moment of the wedding?
D: My favorite moment is when I can get a shot of the couple… when they look like they are completely in love with each other. In the end, maybe that can save their marriage. They can see the evidence. They are hard to catch! I can’t save a marriage, but I can try!
S: On that note, since you have been to so many weddings, is there something you see in the couples that last versus the ones that don’t? What do you think the secret is?
D: It’s hard work. You need to be an a**hole when you need to be. You need to know the “slow drift of death” is coming. One time, I was meeting with a couple and they asked me what it takes to stay married. They really wanted to know. This is a risk situation for me… I know what I am talking about. They could take their business and leave. The interview ended up going a total of four hours. It was uncomfortable, but, in the end, I am not here to be liked… I am here to love. I told him, “You have to stand up and be a man. You don’t want to be a boy the rest of your life. Sometimes, you have to be a bada**. Love will always cost you something. Always! The only easy day was yesterday.” But they booked me for their whole wedding day because I was honest with them.
S: Finally, do you have any advice for aspiring photographers?
D: Yeah, I do. The skill of learning how to take a picture is not difficult. The skill of becoming good at it is the hard part. You cannot learn on the wedding day; you must prepare, you must train. The first 10,000 photos you take are going to suck! Also, get involved with stress management. Learn how to manage that. Understand your equipment at its fundamental level. See how far you can get on how little gear you have. Then wait, wait, wait and practice. And take risks! This business is a risk.
S: Thank you so much David! You were a great first Odd Jobber.
D: No problem! Anytime.
If you’d like to check out David’s photography and book him for your wedding or family photoshoot, check out his site.
Thank you so very much guys! I read that and saw myself in that article and I was so grateful for who I am and how I got there. You did a wonderful job writing and shooting this story.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
No, David, thank you! You were a pleasure to interview. :)
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